When I Look Back

REPOST OF MY PIECE FOR PEACE CORPS THAILAND MAGAZINE When I look back on the past 26 months I feel a deep swell of gratitude, and speaking honestly, relief. Gratitude for the experiences, relief that I survived them. I vaguely remember landing in Bangkok, transferring to a large bus, and waking up in a small community…

2018 In Review: Top Moments, Books & Podcasts

This year I decided to add in some of my most memorable moments as well because 2018 was another year for the history books in terms of politics and pop culture. Without further ado…my top 10 most memorable moments, books, and podcasts of 2018. Let me know what I forgot, or what you’d add to…

An Imperfect Analogy

I suppose this is an imperfect analogy because I genuinely don’t think Nicky gave a s*** about those football statistics, but I do care a whole lot about this place and these people.

Government Issued Best Friend

Repost of my piece for Peace Corps Thailand Magazine I was unsure of you at first. A bit timid and anxious about the thought of being stuck with you, every day, for over two years. Then we got off to an awfully rocky start – literally. Our first morning together was wind in my hair, throw…

Give Them Other Adjectives

So yes, every time I meet a new person in my community, we have the conversation about my size. We talk about why I’m brown. They ask if I’m really American, and then ask someone else just to double check. But now, I know I don’t have to wait long before someone who knows me chimes in “she’s strong, and smart, and funny”. There is no better feeling in the world than being known well enough to let someone else defend me in a battle I’m tired of fighting.

You’re weird. Let’s be friends.

Together we have traversed emotional landscapes full of unexpected land mines. I think, to an outsider, we’re probably all bordering on insane. 

An Honor (but Mostly a Privilege)

When you go to the website it states that volunteers are: “U.S. citizens 18 and older who are curious about the world and committed to helping others.” It sounds idyllic. Have a heart for travel and service? Have the luxury of being born in an English speaking country? Have an adventurous and open-minded spirit? Here’s a ready-made government program willing to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime. 

Spoiler alert: the website doesn’t tell you everything.

I’m Going to Miss This

This piece was originally written for Peace Corps Thailand Sticky Rice Magazine. Here it is for my own memory and to serve as a reminder of how very far from rock bottom I am now. Enjoy! I biked over one Sunday afternoon and found yaai (my host grandmother) alone in her usual spot. Just outside…

Rock Bottom

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow’.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher I used to think panic attacks were just extreme bouts of anxiety. I thought they would come and go and you’d be fine after a minute or two. I figured…