Give Them Other Adjectives

So yes, every time I meet a new person in my community, we have the conversation about my size. We talk about why I’m brown. They ask if I’m really American, and then ask someone else just to double check. But now, I know I don’t have to wait long before someone who knows me chimes in “she’s strong, and smart, and funny”. There is no better feeling in the world than being known well enough to let someone else defend me in a battle I’m tired of fighting.

You’re weird. Let’s be friends.

Together we have traversed emotional landscapes full of unexpected land mines. I think, to an outsider, we’re probably all bordering on insane. 

An Honor (but Mostly a Privilege)

When you go to the website it states that volunteers are: “U.S. citizens 18 and older who are curious about the world and committed to helping others.” It sounds idyllic. Have a heart for travel and service? Have the luxury of being born in an English speaking country? Have an adventurous and open-minded spirit? Here’s a ready-made government program willing to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime. 

Spoiler alert: the website doesn’t tell you everything.

I’m Going to Miss This

This piece was originally written for Peace Corps Thailand Sticky Rice Magazine. Here it is for my own memory and to serve as a reminder of how very far from rock bottom I am now. Enjoy! I biked over one Sunday afternoon and found yaai (my host grandmother) alone in her usual spot. Just outside…

Rock Bottom

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow’.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher I used to think panic attacks were just extreme bouts of anxiety. I thought they would come and go and you’d be fine after a minute or two. I figured…

If I’m Being Honest

During Pre-Service Training (PST) Peace Corps gave us all a chart. This chart: I took one look and said “NAH”. Because I’m a narcissist with an innate need to be different (AKA human)….I had determined I would not be allowing a generic chart to tell me how I was going to feel about this experience….

Journal Entries: 2017

Maybe I’ll wish I had this time back. Maybe I’ll wish for a do-over. Maybe I’ll wish I had stayed in closer proximity to the people I love and care about. Then again…maybe I won’t.

Fall

Green giving way to burnt orange and deep red. Nature turning to golden brown hues. Breathing crisp air, skin tickled by cool breezes. The crackle of freshly fallen leaves breaking apart underneath boots. Tucking my nose into the folds of a hand-knitted infinity scarf while dashing from the nip in the air into warm spaces….